RE: What are we doing here?

["Morris Taylor" <wmt@netcomuk.co.uk>]

> we must get involved with a variety
> of areas and methodologies and provide them the benefit of our
> understanding
> and learnings rather than sitting back on our pompous heels and saying
> "they're all wrong!".

Beautifully put John. There is much for me to reflect on in what you say.

And what you say gives us the opportunity as individuals and as a group to
learn and 'extend' ...

I've often seen phrases like 'you were right on the money', or 'you sure got
that right' on this and other discussion lists.

I have thus far resisted the temptation to respectfully challenge such
phrases. What do they actually mean?

Essentially, IMO, what a writer is expressing is 'I agree with what you said
to such an extent that I am moved to write and tell you that I agree with
you and my way of saying that is to exclaim "you are right" '. We've all
done it.

That, to me, means that a writer is applying an internal measure of
rightness and wrongness. How else could they 'know' [x] is right?

Nothing really wrong in that. Harmless stuff.

The real problems arise when a writer wants to say 'I disagree with you'. On
my above argument, by corollary, they should say something like 'you are
wrong'.

But they don't.

They usually make a right mess of it.

It is one of the most difficult things to express.

And we need to practice (practise?) it. If that is accepted then how and
where do we do that?

This list has some of the sharpest intellects in the world on it. And some
of the most patient and tolerant people.

If you learn to juggle from a real expert s/he will tell you that the first
thing you have to get comfortable with is dropping the ball. You're gonna
have to get comfortable with it. 'Cos you're gonna be dropping the ball a
heck of a lot before you can juggle competently.

If you criticise yourself (or, for that matter, others) your learning curve
will be a very different shape. You won't be just learning about juggling.

I used to think that it was a 'very bad thing' for someone to drop the ball.
"You have to be perfect. First time. Every time."

Nah. Just imagine how stiff your neck muscles will become if you or those
around you must 'get it right or else'. And how many tension headaches you
will get if your staple diet is criticism. Or your gastrointestinal system
might go into spasm if it is not already. Your cardiovascular, or pulmonary,
or other vital system may be affected.

And what other illness that might develop into. Which bit of your mind/body
system will capitulate to the chronic stress?

So I reckon it's OK that this list has space for people to drop the ball. To
practice and learn. To kick against the padded wall. To tug at the
restraints of the straitjacket they put on every single morning. All they
have to do is not put it on. Easily said. Try stopping smoking...

I reckon it's a testament to Jim Clauson's 'moderating skills' that he
allows certain stuff to get through that elsewhere would be 'spiked'.

And it's OK to have the *occasional* kerfuffle.

We all come through it much stronger.

Makes the story much more fun. Adds spice. Challenges us.

How else might some people learn what might be the most important lesson of
their life?

Might even save their life?

Tough love. Great stuff.

Great post John. Right on the money.


Sincere Regards
Morris

Morris Taylor wmt@netcomuk.co.uk
Director - Development and Coaching
Motivation Technology
23 Sinclair Place, Edinburgh, EH11 1AH
Fax: 0131 337 3804, Tel: 0131 313 1415
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