Re: Criticism

["Tore Lende" <tolende@online.no>]

I've followed with interest the discussion on criticism, and I might be more confused?  I have not seen much reflection on the fact that criticism, also socalled constructive, can be very close to blaming. At least it is often felt like that of the one being the object.  In my experience this causes fear.  And because of that is violating one the basic principle of our philosophy -  if it creates fear - it destroys relationsships.   I think this is true wheather we look at it lineary, or that we consider it from a more holistic/systemic perspective.  Especially I would think it is true if we have a systemic understanding.   As Deming said:   Drive fear out of relationsships.   I suppose it would be very difficult or almost impossible to that without "driving criticism out relationsships".  This has at least been a major lesson in my marriage and family.  But it should be as much true in any relationsship?  Criticism is also very much one of the extrinsic motivators.   I think one said that research showed that criticism increased performance, as praise had the opposite effect. (I should like a reference on that)  To my understanding this would not be in line with the research og Ryan and Deci.  (Both praise and criticism seems not to work well). 

Friendly
Tore Lende
Norway
www.lende.no