Scientific Jargon

[Bob Adsett <bob.adsett@lineone.net>]

I thought that DEN members might appreciate these interpretations

bob

Scientific Jargon

>After many years of studying and hard work, here is a guide for
> >scientific jargon.  The following list of phrases and their
> definitions
> >will help you to understand that mysterious language.
> >
> >"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
> >I didn't look up the original reference.
> >
> >"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
> >These data are practically meaningless.
> >
> >"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THESE
> QUESTIONS"...
> >An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
> >
> >"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...
> >The results of the others did not make any sense.
> >
> >"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...
> >This is the prettiest graph.
> >
> >"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"...
> >I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
> >
> >"THE MOST RELIABLE RESULTS ARE OBTAINED BY JONES"...
> >He was my graduate student; his grade depended on this.
> >
> >"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...
> >Once.
> >
> >"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...
> >Twice.
> >
> >"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...
> >Thrice.
> >
> >"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...
> >I think.
> >
> >"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"...
> >A couple of other guys think so too.
> >
> >"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"...
> >Wrong.
> >
> >"ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"...
> >Rumour has it.
> >
> >"A STATISTICALLY ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE
> FINDINGS"...
> >A wild guess.
> >
> >"A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"...
> >Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a cup of
> coffee.
> >
> >"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A
> COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENA OCCURS"...
> >I don't understand it.
> >
> >"AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"...
> >They don't understand it either.
> >
> >"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND
> TO ANDREA SCHAEFFER FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS" ...
> >Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Schaeffer explained to me what it
> meant.
> >
> >"A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"...
> >A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
> >
> >"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN
> THIS FIELD"...
> >I quit.